Dr. Paul White on why your "appreciation" is failing

peopleHum Exclusive: A Conversation with Dr. Paul White

Every CHRO is talking about "culture," "belonging," and "engagement," yet the stinging sentence in exit interviews persists: “I don’t feel valued here.” The standardized, generic R&R programs are failing because HR has committed catastrophic mistakes: they have standardized something deeply, powerfully personal.

As psychologist and workplace expert Dr. Paul White reveals that the failure to recognize that “Not everybody feels valued in the same way”-is actually the retention, and leadership survival imperative, which your company has been ignoring. If you continue to standardize something that is individual, you are continuing to insult your workforce. Here are truths from Dr. White that reshapes how organizations should think about making people feel seen, respected, and motivated to stay.

The confusion that kills morale: Recognition is not appreciation

The difference lies in the nature of the exchange:

• Recognition is a transactional exchange. It celebrates what they did—the result or outcome (e.g., hitting a sales target). Corporate recognition is often late, generic, and symbolic, tied to cycles like annual reviews. It rewards the performance data.
• Appreciation is relational and human. It respects who they are, the person behind the result, their effort, and their approach to the work. Appreciation is specific, and sincere, delivered in the moment. It values human contribution.

The future of culture demands employee precision, focusing on sincerity and human connection rather than ceremony and generic programs.

The Danger of the Single-Track System: It Punishes Individuality

The statement "Not everybody feels valued the same way" is a warning that your organization is punishing diversity of motivation by utilizing a single, rigid recognition system.

When you design a single recognition system, you are guaranteeing that it will fail more employees than it inspires. True appreciation must be individualized because employees derive value from completely different forms of reward:

• Public Acknowledgment: For one employee, appreciation is specific, public praise and celebration of results.
• Private Validation: For another, it's a private, sincere nod from their direct manager that acknowledges their hard work.
• The Gift of Autonomy: For some it’s being rewarded with more control over their schedule and projects, the gift of trust.
• Investment in Future: It’s receiving the time and budget for professional development to pursue mastery.
• Protection from Overload: And for many high performers, appreciation looks like their leader protecting them from overload, not simply rewarding them for enduring unnecessary, unsustainable pressure.

HR must move away from generic "one-size-fits-all" broadcasts and create a framework that allows managers to choose the right currency of appreciation for the right individual.

The automation trap: Why tools can't replace gratitude 

When companies rely on auto-generated emails, gamified points, and corporate templates that feel like AI wrote them, employees immediately smell the automation.

• Destroys trust: Appreciation that feels mass-produced creates distance. Employees do not trust automated praise because it lacks sincerity and effort required for real human valuation.
• Requires human judgment: Real appreciation is a judgment call that only a human can make, not a software feature. It requires a leader to recognize the specific context, complexity, and effort behind a success.
• Kills discretionary effort: People will not give their valuable effort, the extra work that isn't required but makes a difference to leaders who outsource their basic human responsibility of gratitude to a dashboard.

Technology should serve as a tool to enable the leader to be better at connecting, by providing data on who to praise or reminding them to do it, it should never replace the leader entirely in the act of giving sincere thanks.

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The irony of retention: The cheapest strategy is ignored 

CHROs must confront a paradox: their organizations spend a budget for rewards, engagement events, and perks, yet the most powerful retention driver is the sincere appreciation, delivered skillfully, is entirely free.

The silent killer of morale

While many focus on workload, hours, or compensation as the cause of turnover, the truth is that most quiet exits, burnout, and resignations start with the feeling: "No one sees the effort I put in."

• Compensation makes people stay- it addresses the transactional need.
• Appreciation makes them care while they stay-it addresses the relational need.

Ignoring this fundamental human need for recognition of effort is the most expensive mistake a company can make, despite the solution being the cheapest one available.

The Managerial Malpractice: Failing to Measure Morale 

It is HR malpractice when a manager is deemed "strong" purely because their numbers look good, despite destroying morale, overlooking effort, and burning out their team. If leaders are not held accountable for culture, they will not prioritize it. HR must put culture where it belongs: in the KPI sheet.

Key Morale Indicators for Manager Appraisals

HR must introduce measurable, behavior-based metrics into leader appraisals. These metrics directly assess the manager's impact on team morale and retention:

• Do Direct Reports Feel Valued? Measure this via confidential, frequent pulse surveys that specifically ask about the sense of being valued and respected by their direct manager.
• Is Appreciation Specific and Timely? Track the frequency and specificity of non-monetary recognition activities initiated by the manager 
• Does the Leader Recognize Effort, Not Just Results? Include items in engagement surveys that distinguish between recognition for outcomes versus recognition for effort, collaboration, and learning from failure.
• Burnout and Turnover: Tie a manager's performance rating to the burnout scores and voluntary resignation rates of their direct reports. A high-output team with high turnover is a net loss for the company.

The Hidden Army: Why Appreciation Must Flow Horizontally 

Peer-to-peer appreciation uncovers the crucial, low-visibility efforts that formal management systems often fail to spot. Peers have the necessary proximity and context to recognize:

• The Collaborator who seamlessly integrates work across two teams.
• The Rescuer who stays late to fix a colleague's mistake.
• The Quiet Expert who provides specialized, undocumented knowledge.
• The person who prevents fires before they start through diligence and foresight.

Tech That Scales Humanity: Focusing on Authenticity 

Technology's role in appreciation and recognition should be a partner in authenticity, enhancing human connection rather than replacing it. To achieve genuine scale, technology must be designed to promote the human-centric aspects of appreciation:

• Enable Personal Voice: The tools should allow leaders to communicate in their own voice, not a corporate script.
• Provide Context, Not Generics: Systems should provide specific context about the accomplishment. This shifts the focus from a generic broadcast to a meaningful validation of the work.
• Integrate Appreciation into Daily Workflows: Appreciation should be integrated seamlessly into the platforms and communication channels where work naturally happens.
• Track Leadership Behavior as Data: HR can use technology to track leadership behavior to ensure accountability and spot genuine engagement. 

Conclusion

Corporate culture will evolve only when HR realizes this: Appreciation is a daily leadership behavior that protects retention, reduces burnout, and creates the performance energy you're constantly chasing, and not just a perk.

As Dr. Paul White clearly states: “Not everybody feels valued the same way.” If you continue to standardize something that is deeply personal, you will keep losing the most human part of Human Resources. To hear Dr. Paul White’s unfiltered insights and see how peopleHum empowers HR leaders to embed authentic, specific appreciation into their leadership accountability structure, watch the conversation here: